Napoleon Randomness
by CutieCat2012
Summary: I suck at summaries. But my family thinks it's the best napoleon dynamite story in the world, so give me a little credit for it cuz this is my first fanfic. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! WHOOPS! Sorry I put Pedro in the beggining. I didn't mean to.


Napoleon Randomness

Napoleon: Gosh, Pedro! What's your problem? You ate all the cheese crackers.

Kip: Why do you care? I bought them.

Napoleon: So. I'm the only one around here who eats 'em.

Kip: Gees Napoleon. It's not my fault you don't have enough money to buy yourself a box of crackers.

Napoleon: Shut-up Kip! Stop acting like a pineapple!

Kip: Why do you get so mad all the time?

Napoleon: Why do you think?

Kip: Gees Napoleon, I don't know.

Napoleon: Well you should or I'm gonna hurt your soul!

Kip: So, I asked Lafonda out.

Napoleon: Where are you going?

Kip: Just to the bridge to talk.

Napoleon: Cool. Is it murder if I accidentally push her off?

Kip: Yes! Napoleon. Why did you ask me that?

Napoleon: I thought it would be funny.

Kip: Well, it's not.

Sitting on the couch watching TV.

Napoleon: Knock, knock.

Kip: Who's there?

Napoleon: Dwain.

Kip: Dwain who?

Napoleon: Dwain the bathtub I'm dwowning.

Kip: Gees Napoleon. That was a waste of my time.

The phone rings at Pedro's house and Pedro answers it

Pedro: He-llo?

Napoleon: Remember your next door neighbor, the really old guy? Well, remember when you threw a rock at him and he died?

Pedro: No.

Napoleon: Oh. Ok. Bye.

Pedro: Bye.

Napoleon's house

Kip: So, Napoleon, what are you gonna do today?

Napoleon: Whatever I want to, Gosh!

Kip: Gees Napoleon, you don't have to get so mad.

Napoleon: So, how's your girlfriend?

Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious now, I mean, I haven't gotten a full body shot yet. So, I guess you can say it's getting pretty serious.

Kip's at the computer

Napoleon: What are you doing?

Kip: Talking to babes.

Napoleon: Gosh! I don't understand why they like YOU! You're such a jerk!

Kip: Napoleon, it's not my fault you're not attractive.

Napoleon: Shut-up you sassy little…mumbling

Kip: What?!

Napoleon: Nothing.

At school

Napoleon: Pedro.

Pedro: Yeah?

Napoleon: I think Kip and I are gonna chop down one of the trees in the back yard.

Pedro: Why?

Napoleon: Because we feel like it.

Debb: Hi Napoleon.

Napoleon: Hey.

Debb: So, what kind of bees do you like?

Napoleon: I like bumble bees, carpenter bees, honey bees, baby bees, mama bees, papa bees, fat bees, skinny bees, spelling bees…

Debb: Ok. I get it.

Napoleon: I can go on if you want.

Debb: No. I gotta go. Bye.

Napoleon: Bye.

Pedro: Whoa.

Napoleon: What.

Pedro: Look at that girl's tattoo.

Napoleon: I can't see it.

Pedro: I can.

Napoleon: Oh, I'll use my super-handy-dandy-secret-spy-gear-focusers.

Pedro: What?

Napoleon: The zoom on my cell-phone.

Pedro: You don't have a cell-phone.

Napoleon: I do in my head.

At home

Kip: Hey, Napoleon.

Napoleon: Yeah?

Kip: Say something.

Napoleon: Why?

Kip: Just say something.

Napoleon: But I don't want to.

Kip: Napoleon, just do it.

Napoleon: Fine. A flat house.

Kip: Napoleon. Why do you have to act so stupid all the time?

Napoleon: You told me to say something.

Kip: Name a vegetable.

Napoleon: Um…a pineapple.

Kip: Napoleon, number one, a pineapple isn't a vegetable. Number two, you're retarded.

Napoleon: Sorry I'm not perfect.

Kip: I'm sorry to.

Napoleon: Fine! Gosh! You flippin idiot!

Kip: Napoleon. What time is it?

Napoleon: Um…9:60 p.m.

Kip: Napoleon. There's no such time as 9:60 p.m.

Napoleon: Well, apparently there is.

Kip: Napoleon, it's 9:06 p.m.

Napoleon: Oh.

Kip: Gees, Napoleon. Not only do you not know what a vegetable is, you also don't know how to tell time.

Napoleon: Gosh! Sorry I'm so retarded.

Kip: No, it's not that. You're just special and you don't have a good education.

Napoleon: Shut-up you flippin idiot!

Napoleon: Kip, what is 88 k's on a p?

Kip: Gees Napoleon I don't. Figure it out yourself.

Napoleon: Hey, Kip.

Kip: What Napoleon.

Napoleon: There's pineco in the tree.

Kip: What? There's no such thing.

Napoleon: Yes, there is.

Kip: No, there's not Napoleon.

Napoleon: Come see for yourself.

Kip: Gees Napoleon. It's a three dimensional piece of paper.

Napoleon: No it's not.

Kip: Oh. Gees, Napoleon. For once you're right.

Napoleon: I told you. Yesssssssssssss.


End file.
